Project 1: “The Space Between”
The composition “The Space Between” displays the inability of the present moment to fulfill the mind’s desires through collages of buildings moments away from contact and movement expression through choreography. The buildings are so close together that the mind can practically see them colliding, filling the space between them. The failure of the photographs to showcase the building’s blending with force evokes a sense of uneasiness as “what is” and “what is desired” are not aligned; only the mind’s imagination can ease the tension by creating its own ending.
To reflect this phenomenon through movement, the choreography explores angular shapes representing the buildings’ edges and finds ways to reach beyond what the body allows, attempting to fill the emptiness. The body’s limbs travel far beyond what is available now, at times losing balance due to the inability of both “what is desired” and “what is” to exist in the present moment.
Project 2: “Deeper”
The composition “Deeper” illustrates the mind’s tendency to spiral into the darkness as one thought, intertwined with a string of others, pulls one deeper into the void.
The photographs portray a similar theme, guiding one’s eye into the hidden depth. The natural eversion summoned by the unseeable end awaken discomfort, furthering the void’s unpredictable nature. There is, however, a curiosity and pull embedded deep within the fear to step into the darkness.
The choreographic process mirrored this idea, as the repetitive failure to create movement dragged my thoughts into similar darkness, rid of all hope, stranded in self-doubt and insecurity. Instead of avoiding the uncomfortable sensations, I created movement in their presence, accepting this piece of my being and finding peace within the darkness.
The Process
In most cases, the photographs I use inspire my movement phrases; however, during this project, I did not have to ponder ways to mirror the meaning behind the photos; instead, I experienced it during the choreographic process itself.
Initially, I intended to choreograph for another set of photos; while rehearsing, I realized I did not have the balance or patience to execute the movements to my desires. With this failure and a setback in my plans, I let the feeling of not being good enough spread into other subjects, awakening the darkest parts of my mind. All of the security I spent years solidifying was gone in a matter of seconds.
I sat there in silence for a while. In the overwhelming sea of negativity, I noticed that a few thoughts came up, encouraging me to move on and continue, trying to lead me out of my state of mind. But I did not go, not because I could not but because I did not want to. I did not want to leave this self-sabotaging moment just yet. I wanted to be there, letting my body feel the disappointment.
While sitting in the uncomfortable feelings, I began to choreograph another piece that felt right at the moment and, most importantly, one my body could execute. Parts of movements from the original phrase came together with new motions. The photographs began to embody the overthinking, self-sabotage, and darkness I sometimes get trapped in; only this time, I was able to make something more of it.